Perineum Stimulation: The Underrated Pleasure Point
When it comes to pleasure, we’re often focused on those parts of the body that give us the most. The clitoris and penis have the most nerve endings, and for many people stimulation of them is vital to bring on orgasm.
But as we’ve mentioned before on this blog, orgasm doesn’t have to be the only goal of sex. In fact, exploring how different parts of the body respond to stimulation can be a really useful step in broadening your own pleasure – and that of your partners.
What is the Perineum?
One of the areas that tends to get ignored when we’re looking at stimulation is the perineum. The perineum is the sensitive part of the body that lies between the genitals and the anus – either below the testicles or below the vulva.
You might not have experienced perineal stimulation before – it rarely shows up in sex tip articles or stories about masturbation, but it has a lot of pleasurable potential.
We spoke to a few volunteers about perineal stimulation – what they like, and how – and we found that this often neglected part of the body could give way more pleasure than you may previously have thought.
How Do You Massage the Perineum?
As with any stimulation, everyone’s experience and preference is going to be different. But one of the things that most of our interviewees agreed on was that firm pressure is the way to go.
Place a couple of fingertips on the perineum, and rub or stroke firmly through the skin. One of our anonymous contributors explained it like this:
“Fingertip stroking (or licking) of the whole area feels pretty great; but it’s great in the same way that fingertip stroking and licking anywhere sensitive feels great,
Once I’m a bit more warmed up, firm pressure is definitely the way to go. I remember reading once that the penis goes back into the body a few inches, and a firm pressure with good back and forth rhythm (or an oval shape) feels a lot like a handjob.
You can feel the shape of the muscles, and if you can imagine giving a handjob but using just your thumb to stimulate the underside of the penis, you’ve got the right idea. Ease off on the pressure where you can feel the muscle fade away.
The trick is to avoid ‘digging in’; so use the whole flat of the thumb, not the tip (or even the flat of a couple of knuckles for more area if they aren’t terrified). The muscles down there are fairly robust, and you need to rub ‘through’ them.
As long as I’m not being poked I can take a lot of pressure. Think giving a back massage, or thereabouts. I think making the pelvic floor muscles relax is one of the reasons it works for me.
In terms of technique, being massaged with gentle pressure around the anus, moving to a firm stroke back and forth over the perineum (imagine a keyhole shape) will get me. Literally every time.
Combine it with other more direct stimulation – like a blow job, hand job, or rimming – for best results. Ideally a combination.”
For others, a gentler approach works best – particularly if you have a very sensitive perineum. Another interviewee told us:
“I love gentle touching and stroking of the area. I find it very relaxing yet stimulating. However, I do also wear G-strings regularly which give a different feeling. When wearing a G-string, I’ll often move my hips to feel the G-string which is a slightly sharper feeling but still pleasurable.”
And to show just how varied sensitivity can be, another of our volunteers – Daniel – explained that:
“After reading about perineum stimulation and how incredibly stimulating it was for some people I tried it a few times. Every time I had to stop after a short while because my skin there is very sensitive and any sort of slightly forceful rubbing is quickly getting painful for me and is rather not pleasant.”
If you want to explore perineal stimulation, starting with a gentle touch and then exploring firmer touches/rubs seems like the right way to go. And if you find that perineal play is something you’d like to work into your sex and masturbation toolkit, there are other ways to get that stimulation too.
Perineum Stimulation: Vibrators and Lube
As a general rule, if something feels good without lube it’s worth trying it with lube as well: the slickness gives a different texture and – particularly if you’re sensitive – can allow for softer touches that don’t pull or rub against the skin.
Lube also means you can play for longer without irritating or rubbing at the skin.
On top of this, sex toys can add an extra depth: providing vibrations that a couple of our volunteers found really pleasurable, as long as they weren’t too powerful. One of them explained:
“We have a vibrator which feels great. A special mention though, to our metal butt plug – with that in and me face down, pressure on the perineum with the vibrator makes the plug vibrate on my prostate, and it’s got some serious heft. It’s very intense.”
Peter talked about vibrations too. He explained that an ex-partner once:
“…bought a small ‘couples vibrator’ to use together. We used it on each other and had a lot of fun. When she tried it on me, it also felt amazing on my perineum – rumbling and vibrating feels simultaneously arousing and relaxing.
In my experience with previous partners since, I’ve found it hard to describe enjoying perennial stimulation. I think that the perineum is often seen as the precursor to rimming – just a warm up, but honestly for me both are amazing and if I could find the way to ask I’d honestly occasionally love to have an evening of mainly perineum play.
After we broke up – she left me the vibrator along with some knickers as a kind of memory of the times we had. I continue to use it occasionally myself. I find the vibration on my taint really nice – but it’s never as strong a feeling when alone. I guess it’s a bit like how you can’t tickle yourself – you expect it and your brain cancels out the intensity of the sensation.”
Peter also pointed out that if you’re into BDSM, tools like Wartenburg pinwheels can be used (with caution!) on the perineum:
“She wanted to see what else I was curious about – and brought out a Wartenberg wheel. I nervously said yes, and watched as she started rolling it across my skin along my arm. The sensation was so new and interesting. I lay face down on the bench again, trusting her as she rolled it over me, it felt so different in each place.
My head made me bliss out like a head massage, though my skin awoke along my side and back – feeling all tingly.
I couldn’t handle the pinwheel the head of my circumcised cock – the sudden rush of sensation was too much for me, so she rolled it down over my balls and around my perineum – that new feeling of sensation there suddenly flooded back how great a variety of sensation feels for me there. All the sensations were building up, it felt amazing.”
Perineal Stimulation as Part of Sex and Masturbation
It was interesting to hear these stories about perineal stimulation, particularly as the perineum often seems to be ignored in sex tips articles.
As we were speaking to them, a couple of our volunteers explained that they found it difficult to ask for perineal stimulation, or that their discovery of this pleasurable part of the body had come as a bit of a surprise: no one had told them before that this area could be pleasurable to touch, and that including it in masturbation and sex might be quite enjoyable.
So hopefully this quick overview has given you some ideas, and served as a reminder that pleasure is often way more varied and interesting than the sex tips articles might have you think!